Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
