i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
