party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
