what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
