Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
