i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize