Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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