I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize