Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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