ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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