My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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