dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
