So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
