Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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