How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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