I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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