This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
