Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize