he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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