she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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