I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
