i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
