So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
