Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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