I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize