She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
