i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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