Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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