Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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