I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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