If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize