return my video game
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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