I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
