the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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