That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
