i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
