Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
