i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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