Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
