the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The air was thick with penises
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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