i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
