Pants 0. Shit 1.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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