I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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