i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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