i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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