The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
