You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
