Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
