I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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