took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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