bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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