If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
