If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
