To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
