So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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