It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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