I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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